All That Matters
by greysmerderfan
Summary: Set after the premiere. Just a little something I would've liked to see between Derek and Meredith after everything.


**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it.**

**So Grey's is back and well, the premiere was heartbreaking with Mark dying I'll give it that (even though Derek owned the episode). I wasn't so happy about Meredith leaving Derek to see Cristina though; I mean…he's her husband and she's not. Shonda needs to realize that Derek comes first.**

**Anyways…I had this idea in my head and it just wouldn't go away so I figure I'd put it out there. I hope you guys enjoy it.**

* * *

After having a few drinks with Alex and Cristina (via Face Time) at the airport, Meredith was anxious to get home. She didn't mean to leave Derek but she just couldn't watch Mark die. She had already lost her sister but seeing her brother-in-law being taken off life support was too much for her.

She knew Cristina would never get on the plane and she really couldn't blame her. After what they went through, she didn't want to get on a plane either. But she did and failed at it.

Once she had finished her drinks with Alex and Cristina, she realized what had she had done, and she didn't like it.

Old Meredith ran when things got hard. Old Meredith drank tequila. Old Meredith left Derek when she couldn't handle things.

But she wasn't old Meredith. She loved Derek and Zola. She loved her life. And even though she and Derek had gone through something horrible, she wasn't going to revert to her old ways. She was a wife and a mom, and she wouldn't change that for anything.

She got out of the cab that her and Alex had split and made her way up the driveway. Giving Alex her mother's house was the right thing to do. It was easier than selling it and she knew Alex would take care of it. And most importantly, she was ready to say goodbye and start building new and happier memories with Derek and Zola in their home.

Opening the door she noticed the lights were on, which probably meant that Derek was home and given the silence, Zola was asleep in bed and he probably was as well.

She put down her bag and made her way into their bedroom, closing the lights on her way.

When she walked into her and Derek's bedroom she was surprised to find him awake.

"Hey" She said

"Hey"

"You're awake"

"Yeah."

"I'd thought after everything, you'd be asleep"

"I thought you went to see Cristina," He said

"I had a panic attack on the plane before it even left the gate" Meredith replied, not looking at him as she walked to the bed.

"A panic attack?"

"Yeah, I all but threatened the flight attendants to open the door or I would for them."

He didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry," She said, turning to look at him, "I'm sorry I freaked out and…I'm sorry"

"Why did you?"

"Seeing Mark like that, knowing he was about to…I couldn't. I couldn't handle it." She confessed. "And I know me leaving was stupid"

"You wanted to see Cristina"

"Yeah."

"Even though she's all the way at Mayo"

"I just couldn't handle it"

"He's gone," Derek said quietly to her

"I know."

"He was my brother and now he's gone."

"I'm sorry" Meredith said, her eyes filling with tears, "I'm sorry, I couldn't do more to save him out there, I'm sorry I left, I'm…"

"Mark's death wasn't your fault."

"Sometimes it feels like it is."

"What happened out there, no one could've known."

They laid side-by-side, not moving reeling over the lose of their friend, brother.

"How did your surgery go?" Meredith asked him, looking at his hand

"It didn't."

"What do you…"

"My hand went numb and I dropped the…" Derek said, closing his eyes in pain and anger.

"Derek…"

"I don't know how I can do this", he said, "be a surgeon when my hand won't even work"

Meredith took his hand in hers and interlocked their fingers.

"We'll figure it out".

"It's not that simple"

"Then we'll make it that simple." Meredith said, looking at him, "if you can't operate then we'll find something you can do."

"Like what?" Derek asked her is disbelief

"You could teach" She said, "You're one of the most talented, most gifted and most wanted surgeons in the country, and if you aren't able to operate, we'll find another way to show off your talent."

Derek said nothing as he kept his eyes closed. He knew she was right, but the thought of never being able to operate again scared him.

"I have a nickname" Meredith said suddenly

"You have a what?" Derek asked, opening his eyes and looking at her in confusion

"I have a nickname" she repeated, "My interns gave me a nickname"

"What is it?"

"Medusa"

"Medusa?" He asked her is shocked and disbelief. Meredith may be harsh at time, but she was anything but cold.

"Yeah"

"You don't deserve that," He told her

"Whatever, I really don't care" She told him honestly, even though the nickname bothered her, she wasn't going to make a big deal out of it.

"How was Zola tonight" Meredith asked after a while

"Good," Derek told her, "We, uh…had a tea party"

"Really?" Meredith replied with a smile

"Yeah, it was nice."

"You're an amazing daddy," Meredith told him firmly

"And you're an amazing mommy."

"I love you." She told him, "I'm sorry that I left"

Meredith shifted onto her side to lay on Derek, his arm going around her.

"I love you too." He said back, "But you're here now, and that's all that matters."

They had survived something terrible, and although they lost 2 people they loved, they still had each other.

_**The End**_


End file.
